A couple of days ago I was showing Lindsay the brilliant idea that is Pinterest and we came across this picture.
When I saw it, I pointed it out and said "Aw, I wanna get married again just so this can happen". Almost simultaneously we both said "but that'd mean we'd have to touch each other." Evidence #1 of the dysfunction.
It is not uncommon for Kaylyn to call us names like Captain Poophead and for us not to even notice it. Evidence #2.
Occasionally, Lindsay and Kaylyn will let me mess around with their hair or make up. The whole time I'm doing it, all I can think of is how bad their breath is, how annoyingly heavy they breathe and how uncomfortably close we are standing. I let them know each time I have these thoughts. Evidence #3.
If you ever read our posts to each other on facebook, you'll notice we call each other names like, dummy, retard, poo face, idiot.. a lot. Even when we're talking about something serious, the name calling still happens. Sometimes we mean it literally. Like Lindsay is a poo face - plain and simple. But other times there is more to it than that.
I call Lindsay is retard. Sometimes it means "hey friend, I'm glad you're my sister and I value your opinion."
Lindsay calls Gable a turd. Sometimes it means "I wish I could spend more time with you, dearest brother"
Kaylyn calls me a dork. Sometimes it means "That was funny and I wish I was as clever as you. You're my hero" (It's true. I just know it.)
So to Lindsay, Gable and Kaylyn - ya'll are the biggest retards I know. I'm so glad ya'll are my family of turd heads.
Single tear.
I have never used the word dork. Do you really think I would stoop to use that lame of an insult? This is ourageous.
ReplyDeleteyou're outrageous.
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