Sometimes it does hurt to ask

"Does that come in blue?" --- Doesn't hurt



"When's the baby due?" --- Hurts


Not that this has happened to me... I'm just sayin, is all.

I've discovered instagram.

Today's been a good day.  Several things have happened to make it so..

-I happened to decide to take video when I went in to pick Piper up from her nap. She had been happily laying there talking to herself and I wanted to get it on video... Instead I got video of her waving hey to me. It was a true christmas miracle. She's been "waving" the last few days, but we weren't sure if she knew what she was doing. This morning it was very obviously on purpose.  And I got it on video.   Score one for, Bevin.

-While we were riding to get lunch I said "Piper, can you say hey?" and she started waving again.

I nearly wrecked.

She has since learned that not only is waving hello great fun, but it also gets people to stop and say hello.

This part does not thrill me.

I'm really not as anti-social as I make myself seem on here.  It's just hard to get stuff done when every few minutes someone new wants to come talk for 10 minutes.  

...Also most people are close talkers and have horrible breath...

-While at target returning a shirt I got in an arguement with a lady. It doesn't matter whether I was right or not. ..simply that I, a timid Drinkwater, actually stood up for myself and won.

I was right by the way and the other lady made a complete butt of herself in front of several others who knew I was right.

I love being right.

-Finally I made a new friend today. Everyone, meet Joj.

I have nothing to say anymore.

So when I was in high school I took an art class as my elective. I did it because the alternative was band or gym. I don't do physical activities and, at the time, band seemed like a certain death.   So art it was.

The nice teacher was very supportive of my abilities. I think she thought I had a gift. Anytime we'd finish a project she'd display them on the walls for a few weeks. Mine always ended up in the back...kinda hidden. 

Cause she didn't want mine to show everybody else's up. I just know that's what it was.

One time, a kid in elementary saw my "painting" and they asked if another kid in their class had done it.

He was in like the third grade.

Side note - my iPad autocorrects misspelled words and sometimes I don't catch it. It just made my misspelled third into turd. If you ever see something like that, that's what happened.
.....For I would never use such language.

So anyway, tonight when we decorated sugar cookies, I drew on all my previous art class experiences to bring you the following masterpiece.




..Nailed it.

Psalm 118:1

"Give thanks to the Lord for He is good.."




He is good and He deserves more thanks than I will ever be able to give.

Thank you, Lord.

I'm not braggin'. I'm just braggin'. Wait, what?

As of today, I've lost 16 pounds.   

...in 10 weeks.

...during the holiday season.

...without working out.

Weight watchers is the cheese.    

Excuse me.   Some cheese sounds good right now.

It hurts how good she smells.

Sometimes I go in her room at night and I realize that I have a baby.  

I have a baby....

I do.  

And then I smell her head and I realize I have a baby.  

Then I have to go sit down and try not to cry for how happy I am.


Thank you, Lord.

There's no place like.... Excuse me

We just got home from our thanksgiving trip to Indiana. It was one of the best thanksgivings so far. However, it did not start out great. It took us 14 hours to get there.

...Just let that marinate for a minute...

14 hours. In thanksgiving traffic. With a 5 month old.

Anyway, we had a great time and a nice drive back and when we finally got home we brought Piper in to bathe her and get her in bed. I'm trying to think of a way to describe how excited she was acting to be home. She actually got giddy and did a little dance in my arms when we walked in her room.

So we finished her bedtime routine, lay her in her crib and started to say our night time prayer. Carey was in the middle of asking that she have a good nights sleep when suddenly she arched her back and tooted the loudest toot ever produced by an infant.

And smiled... As if to say, "Yep, it's good to be home."

Remind me not to eat her food.

I went out shopping with Pipes today.   It was wonderful weather and she rode around in her umbrella stroller like the laid back, (mostly) content child that she is.   She seems to love that thing.   And I love it because the stores I was in have the tiniest isles imaginable.   Honestly, what genius decided to put a Carter's in a space that is not even big enough for people to squeeze through alone, much less with a single or double stroller that is loaded down with all kinds of baby mess?

While I was there, I stopped in at Rack Room shoes and found the cutest tan colored shoes.   With ruffles.   I love ruffles. I should buy more things with ruffles.  

So anyway, I got to the cash register and I just happened to glance down at the cashier's hands and ya'll, I am not kidding you...   this girl had THE LONGEST fake nails I have ever seen in real life.   I mean, I've been to Ripley's believe it or not in Gatlinburg and seen the dude with the longest nails on record and hers weren't that long, but they were darn close.  Friends, they curved around.    She even had to hold her hand weird in order to write on the receipt.  

And the thing I stood there wondering is..    How exactly does one use the restroom with those on?

...Or wash their hands properly?

...Or tie their shoes?

...Or wash their hair?

...Or open a can of coke?

If she has a baby, how does she clean a dirty diaper?

Then I had all these images of what was lurking under those nasty, leopard print nails and I had to resist the urge to use the hand sanitizer they had sitting on the counter.  But I felt like she would have known why I was doing that and I wouldn't want her to know I was judging her.  No sir.

But I was.  

And I am.

I know, Lord.  I'm workin' on it.

stupid, necessary justice system

I got a jury summons in the mail a couple weeks ago.  It's for this coming week.   I called the line this morning and found out that they've already called through 213 for Monday.   I'm 251.

Crap.

So now I'm looking at most definitely having to go on Tuesday.. which means I have to leave my girlie with Nonnie for the day for the first time.

Knowing my "luck" I'll end up on a case that lasts for days.

I'm honestly having mini panic attacks about it.  And I'm not exaggerating.  It's actually making my heart hurt to think of leaving her.  Not to say that she isn't going to be in good hands.   It's Nonnie, after all.

But she's started pouting her lips up and crying a bit when I leave her.   And yeah, I know that just means we need to do this so she can get used to it.

But I don't have to like it.

And it doesn't mean I can't think that it stinks that I'm being forced to do it the first time by the government.



And it does stink.

It's stinks like a steaming pile of monkey poo.

Oh Halloween.

Kaylyn, Lindsay and I reached a new level of ugliness Monday night.  I won't post pictures, though.   This blog can't handle it.

But just trust me...   we've made it our goal to try as hard to be ugly as most girls try to be cute in the least amount of clothes possible.  

We succeeded.

A trick or treater actually laughed at me.

I enjoyed it.

Amen and Amen

You've been hurt, I understand. 

I know you’re life has not turned out the way you planned. 

You can run and you can hide, but how can you escape the love that cannot be denied.

Wandering heart, you’ve been gone so long. 

Wandering heart, it’s time to come back home. 

There’s a light of hope still shining, mercy leaves it on. 

So you’re wandering heart can find its way back home

Turn around, you’re not too far. 

Take one step and God will meet you where you are. 

He’ll forgive and He’ll forget and He will not remind you of the things you now regret.

Wandering heart, you've been gone so long. 

Wandering heart, it’s time to come back home. 

There’s a light of hope still shining, mercy leaves it on, so you’re wandering heart can find its way back home.

Come home. 

Come home. 

Come home.

Ye who are weary come home. 

There’s a light of hope still shining, mercy leaves it on. 

So you’re wandering heart can find its way back home.

Come home.

It's my blog and I can ramble if I want to.

I'm officially able to wear my pre-pregnancy skinny jeans.

Let's not misunderstand one another here...  when I say "skinny" I mean the fit of the jeans is skinny, not that they are thin jeans.    I currently don't own what I would call thin jeans.   But I will, dangit.  I will if it's the last thing I do.  I can't continue to see Kaylyn wearing cuter and cuter clothes everyday and Lindsay losing weight from running and not do something about myself.  

Did I say I wasn't competitive?   I'm usually not but I just can't stand by and let them be better people than me.  I can't.   I will just have to show them what it really means to be a better person and beat them into the ground...  Rub their faces all up in it.

One day.

We watched The Burbs tonight and carved pumpkins.   I carved 3 total this year.  That's how much I love it.  I didn't quite finish my pumpkins before the movie went off, so to continue the festive feeling I turned on Charlie Brown's pumpkin patch party... also known as It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.  I like my name better.  ...The end.

We got all dressed up in our sorta winter clothes today and headed out to go to Walmart and Loves to eat.   I put Piper in this incredibly cute outfit that is a 3-6 and 6 month size (which is incredible because she's still a newborn, you know) and I even got some shoes to stay on long enough to take some pictures.   We had just gotten to Walmart, I pulled her out of her seat and found that not only was their poop coming through her pants, but it was also running down her legs and out onto me.   Friends and neighbors, it had puddled in her socks.  I stood there in the parking lot not even knowing where to begin.   If anybody saw all this going on, they got a good bit of free entertainment for the day.   So basically we took a 10 minute drive to Walmart to change Piper's diaper and turned around to head home.   It was awesome.   I want that to happen more often.

While we were at Loves, I started noticing how everybody was dressing like it's 20 degrees outside.  It's in the 50's and 60's, which is considered cold around here, I know.  But I literally could dress Piper in a onesie and some socks and she'd be happy as can be.   Honestly, I step out the front door and the girl sighs.    And frankly I sigh because she's like walking around holding a heating blanket.   Just another thing she got from Carey.

Seriously, if I freeze to death this winter you'll all know why.

Gloray!

Come Tuesday morning it's Christmas in the Casey house.  

I got candles, I got Christmas records, I've even got Garfield's Christmas special.

Oh it's on.

10 reasons why I love him

1. He's patient with my impatience.
2. He makes me cinnamon toast with extra sugar... and butter... just the way I like it.
3. He keeps going back to Disney World because he knows it makes me happy.
4. He's the voice of reason.
5. He sometimes understands me better than I understand myself.
6. He will listen to an hour long story about this weird dream I had, when he only asked how my day was.
7. He asked me what I was doing just now and when I impatiently replied "just blogging", his response was "sorry to annoy you with my friendship".
8. He's still the funniest person I have ever met. ...I just don't laugh every time because I already knew what he was going to say before he says it.  Because we're close like that.
9. He makes me want to argue to resolve, not to win.     Though, I can't help it that I always do win...  I'm just never wrong, is all.
10. He says things to me like "are you gonna go to the spa again sometime?  It's been a while, hasn't it?"


Nobody has ever or will ever make me as happy as he does.


...Love you boy.

When you are troubled and you can't sleep...

I count my blessings...

1. A husband who is kind and considerate, who is a good father and a great husband.
2. A sweet and good-natured daughter who I never knew I'd love so much.
3. A house that is warm, dry and comfortable.
4. Carey having a good job, with a great company, working with wonderful people, in an area that brings him fulfillment.
5. Bills that remind me we are far richer than most people in the world.
6. A mama and daddy who I look forward to being with as much as I do my best friends.
7. Sisters that are my best friends.
8. A brother to proud of.
9. Sweet dogs that keep me company and wait outside the bathroom door when I shower.
10. In laws that I not only love but enjoy being with.
11. A husband who I know will always love me and overlook my many faults. (he deserves being mentioned twice.)
12. Old friends who've known me long enough to remember my teeth before braces and my hair before the perm, who I never have to explain stuff to because they were there and they know me.
13. New friends who allow me to vent and talk about meaningless, random things... friends who give me new perspective on things.
14. The ability to count, otherwise this list wouldn't be possible.
15. A car with air conditioning to drive. Because Savannah's a big, hot city and it would take forever to get to Orlando without it.
16. A toilet to sit on, because squatting over a hole in the ground would get old very quickly.
17. A computer and internet to waste endless hours surfing and writing ridiculous blogs on.
18. A niece who has occupied most of my time for the last 3 years and who I love like she's my own.
19. A nephew who is destined to be BFF's with Piper.
20. A flat iron, because without it I would be forced to shave my head.
21. Donuts. For they make life that much more enjoyable.
22. Weight watchers.  For it saves me from becoming one big, nasty donut.
23. Netflix. Because it provides hours of Star Trek enjoyment for little cost.
24. For good health, good doctors and good medicine.

But more important than all of these, Jesus. Who provides everything I need and a lot of what I simply just want.  Who is faithful even and especially when I am not.

Thank you, Lord.

Be jealous

We just got back from our weekend trip to Disney.  It was a good trip and I would like to share some of the highlights with you so that you may be jealous.

We went to the Magic Kingdom on Friday night around 7.   We made our way over to Tomorrowland and rode Buzz Lightyear first, cause we've got our priorities straight.   Tivoli, me and Piper rode in one car.  Piper was in the sling on me and she just sits there lookin' around like "it ain't no thing. just sittin' here with my mama".  Tivoli shot 1000 points and I shot 0 because I was too busy watching the two of them.  I thought Tivoli's score was impressive for someone who couldn't even see over the side of the car.  When we first got on the ride and started moving she grabbed my leg and said "we not gonna be scared. we not gonna be scared" so apparently she struggles with fear on Buzz's ride.  

That would be the first time of many I would want to hug her into oblivion.

Afterwards, we discovered a dance party going on and thought it might be fun to go watch people do the cupid shuffle (is that what it's called? i don't know.  i'm not hip. i'm not with it.) while we waited for the rest of the group to catch up.

This is where we discovered that Tivoli has {insert famous dancer} inside of her.   I mean, girlfriend was having to remove her jacket and tutu because they were hindering her.   We did this dance party twice and the second time I got it on video. I also got video of Kaylyn busting what I think she would call a sweet move but the rest of us would call an awkward spasm.   I'm just sayin', Kaylyn...  At one point Carey schooled us on how to dance like Bill Cosby ( I just said schooled and I've never said it in my life.  It felt awkward.)   and I was even able to dance around for the first time in my life, in public, and not feel like a mentally retarded pigeon.   Oh, I'm sure I looked like one, especially considering I had Piper in the sling both times... but I just didn't feel it.  

It. was. awesome.  The highlight of the trip.  We could have stayed right there, danced until midnight and felt like we had gotten every bit of our 60 something dollars worth.  

But we moved on because there was a fireworks show and a parade to watch.  Oh and free candy to collect.  I now have half a bucket of candy to hand out for the trick or treaters.  Or to eat.  You know, cause it's not like I'm trying to lose weight or anything...    

We didn't even ride very many rides.

It was the most fun I have had in the Magic Kingdom in a long, long time.  

For the record, though.  When you go to this party (that lasts until midnight) with a 3 year old and two babies under 6 months, don't bother with costumes.   As I said before, the 3 year old ends up stripping most of the costume off in the process of having fun and the babies never get seen because they're trying to sleep and stay warm.  We don't even have a picture of them.  

Oh well...  there's still Halloween.

P.S. - In case you're wondering, Pipes and Tee-bo matched as bumble bees and Cutler-man was Charlie Brown.  He even had the swirly hair on his forehead drawn on with an eyeliner pencil.   It was amazing.

P.P.S - With the exception of a 20 minute nap DURING THE FIREWORKS SHOW, Piper rode around in her sling facing out all night and didn't cry or fuss at all.   As in, she was awake until 1am... and didn't fuss.  

As I've said before, she's just awesome.  That's all there is to it.

I highly recommend the Kona Cafe.

I ate 81 points on Saturday.

If you don't know how much that it is, it's a lot.   As in the daily allowance for a 350 lb man.  

....I don't know that for sure, I'm just making things up now because it sounds good.  

But it's still a lot.  I'm allowed 35 per day.     Plus 49 extra over the course of a week, so I'm ok but I just wanted everyone to know....   I ate a lot.

It was one of the most delicious days of my life.  

I love that food.

I will dream about that food.

I want to marry it.

Especially the cheesecake.

Oh and the butter.  I love butter.

...It's probably because they DID give me unrealistic hair expectations.

In preparation for our Disney trip I've been listening to a cd on Grooveshark of all the music from the Magic Kingdom Halloween party.   It's music from the fireworks show, the parade and some kind of dance party thing.   I thought it would maybe be fun Halloween music to listen to and also a way to get super excited about the trip.

The dance party and parade music is pretty fun, especially knowing that my niece Tivoli apparently danced to it the whole time.   But friends... I'm here to tell you, the firework's music is just. absolutely. obnoxious. You heard me.  I just admitted that something Disney is obnoxious.    I shouldn't be surprised, though, because Carey and I can hardly stand to sit through the EPCOT and Magic Kingdom's regular fireworks music.  I've actually had to tell Carey to just not listen to the words, otherwise he continues to kill the experience.  He has a knack for making up his own lyrics to any song that completely ruins it for everybody.   There are several other reason we don't like it... However, I won't tell them to you because you might like that part and I don't want to spoil it for you.   I'm just thoughtful like that.

Anyway, all this made me think of an old Universal commercial.  A little girl is standing in front of the Hulk ride and says "if I saw one more princess, I was going to puke".  That was always a funny commercial to me because as much as I love Disney and Mickey and Winnie the Pooh, I equally dislike pretty much all the princess stuff.   I can't explain it...  Maybe it's partly because I think them telling millions of kids that "you can make your dreams come true if you really believe" is extremely mean.   Because when those kids hear that message, all they want to be is princesses and pirates.  And let's be realistic here, friends and neighbors...   the chances of that little girl actually becoming a princess, even though she wholeheartedly believes she will, are nil.   She can believe all she wants.

I'm just sayin'.

All that being said, we have a little girl now and I know that many, many Disney princess things will be in our future, whether I like it or not.    I also know that I used to say I would never let our little girl go to the Princess boutique and get her hair all done up and glitterfied.   But I'm also here to say that if my 2 year old sweet little Piper begs to go get her hair done, I'll probably have ridiculous amounts of fun taking pictures of her afterwards.

That is unless she doesn't have hair til she's 3. (like Carey)   Then Disney World will have a bald headed 2 year old running around leaving a trail of "Pixie Dust" behind her.  

Moral of this pointless story.   Never, ever say never.

YOU think of a creative title.

We're going to Disney World soon for the Mickey's Not-So-Scary Halloween party.  It'll be a first for us.   I've never been more excited about something in my whole life.

Sadly, that last statement is almost true.  

Piper will be going dressed as a bumble bee and I will be a lady bug.   When I say I'll be a lady bug, I mean I'll have a headband with antenna glued to them and wings strapped to my back.   ...In Disney World.  ...A place where people don't understand personal space.  Or deodorant.  In fact, if it goes well I might end up wearing these wings every time I go and just twirl around a lot.  It seems like the best way to keep them out of my sacred personal space.

I don't like people in my personal space, did you know?  

...Unless it's Carey.
...Or Piper.
...Or really any family member.

Well, I'd rather Lindsay didn't touch me, but that's a story for another day.

And while we're on the subject.. Am I the only person who thinks it's rude for a perfect stranger to touch a baby?  I probably am but it's really starting to irritate me.   Like for example, a really young girl at Rack Room suddenly appeared in front of Piper's stroller and proceeded to hold her hands, stroke her face and rub her head.  She almost let Piper pull her finger to her mouth for gravy's sake!  I still don't know what I would have done if she'd have asked to hold her.

I'm sorry, friends.  Call me over protective and crazy but it's flu season.

And everybody seems to have some kind of virus right now.

And I don't know that you're not one of those crazy... I mean misguided... I mean ill-informed people who doesn't get immunized and might infect my not-old-enough-for-all-her-shots-baby with some deadly but preventable disease. (I did. I said it.)

And let's not even mention that I have no idea where she or her hands have been.  I can only assume, AT BEST, they've been in shoes that loads of people's funky feet have been in.  At worst...   I can't.  I just can't think about that.  

Sorry, I have to go take a shower now.  Good day to you.

I said good day.

When the dog bites.. When the bee stings.. When I'm feeling sad...

My friend Sara recently wrote a blog post about her son's favorite things.   I like the idea so I'm gonna copy it and list all of Piper's current favorite things and some of her not-so-favorite things.  

Let's do this thing..

1.  Me -  cause I'm awesome, let's just be honest.
2.  Carey -  cause he's possibly more awesome.
3.  A doll we creatively named Dolly.  - she goes with us every where and Piper passes the time in the car talking to her.  However, Dolly recently has started taunting Piper, which makes her angry.  I have to threaten to separate them.
4. Sucking her thumb. - she does it when she's sleepy and when she's trying to go to sleep.  It.   is.   adorable.
5. Her sound machine.
6. Darkness - she did not get that from me.
7. Bedtime - she loves going to bed at night.
8. Bathtime - except when she's sleepy and tries to quickly put her thumb in her mouth and in the process swallows a ton of water.  She does not like that, not even a little.
9.  Sitting up - although it makes her spit up.  Which is not my favorite.
10. Mickey Mouse - I know this because she talked very loudly to a gift bag with Mickey's face on it while we stood in the back during a Weight Watchers meeting.  Subsequently, I have no idea what was said during that portion of the meeting.
11. Walking around in the sling. - even though it makes her hot.
12.  Not wearing clothes - cause she gets hot easily.
13.  Sitting up in the stroller.
14.  Disney World - she hasn't gone yet but I'm just anticipating her love for it.  
15.  Hearing herself talk - Carey says between me and Piper, his ears are going to fall off.

She's our happy little sunshine and I don't remember what we did without her.

Don't tell me I can't have a cookie

All of Savannah's Great American Cookie Company's have closed.   We used to have two.  Now there are none.  As in zero.  As in, I had to go through a period of mourning.

I tried to see where the closest one is to Savannah.   It's in Jacksonville.  If you ever hear that we've gone to Jacksonville you know what for.   Don't let the reason we give fool you.  It will be so I can get a double doozie.

I actually looked up Great American Cookie Co. website to see if they will let you order and ship a cookie to your house.   They don't.   I went through another period of mourning.

Now I've arrived at the conclusion that I will just have to go rob one of their stores.  When I would go get a cookie I would always watch the girl go back to the large vat of icing they keep in the back, so I know exactly where to look.   I'll need somebody to drive the getaway car, though...  Any volunteers?  I can pay you in icing.

So now the one thing that I look forward to about my birthday is no longer available to me.   Now it's just another day in the stupid, depressing month of January.  No more chocolate chips... No more calling and telling them to forget writing a message on the cookie cake "just take the icing and paint the whole cookie about three layers thick, please."  No more eating all that cookie in 48 hours and then swearing I'll never eat another again, only to go back in two days for a double doozie.   No more whispering sweet nothings to each slice.  No.  Life is all emptiness.   It is nothing but a vapor in the wind.

Woe to me.

Woe I say!

Pointless stories are my thing.

Piper woke me up at 4am.   She wasn't crying but she was talking very loudly, so I went to check on her because it's unusual for her to even wake up, much less be talking at 4am.    She had rolled from her back to her stomach and from what I could tell was just laying there complaining about the predicament she had gotten herself into.   When I rolled her back over she stuck her thumb in her mouth and went right back to sleep.    I stood there for a minute trying to decide if it was worth the trouble it would cause if I picked her up to hug her.   I decided it wasn't.    So I went back to bed. 

The end. 

When I grow up, I wanna be....

When I was a little girl I wanted to be a teacher.   We would have career day and all the other kids would come dressed up as astronauts, doctors...  the president.   I, however, would come to school in a sweater with a Poodle stitched on the front, bright red jeans and some of daddy's old humongous glasses.    The teacher would look at me and say "what are you dressed up as, Bevin?" and I would say "A teacher" and then she and all the other children would laugh.   I'm not sure if they were laughing because that was what I thought all teacher's looked like or because I was so content with mediocrity when everybody else wanted to be such grand and amazing people.

Not that teacher's are mediocre! Or that they aren't super important...   or as amazing as an astronaut!    ::sigh::    I'm just saying it's not exactly considered reaching for the stars on career day, is all.

Anyway, once I got into high school and started having people ask me where I was planning on going to college and what was I going to major in, I'd think "teacher... I guess..."    But then I had a little bit of experience babysitting and working at Sylvan Learning Center and decided that probably wasn't my calling.   As Kaylyn would say, more often than not I'd find myself wanting to roundhouse kick a kid for being obnoxious than caring about the furtherance of their mind.

So I graduated and went straight to work.  I decided I didn't want to go to college if I didn't have any idea what I wanted to do. I'd thought of every career out there and decided I didn't want to be every one of them.   Ok... maybe not every career out there.  But all that appealed to me.     I went to work and pretty much just worked in several secretarial jobs.    And hated every one of them before it's was over with, if you wanna know the truth.  I mean, let's be honest here... it doesn't exactly take a genius to be a secretary.   Not that secretaries are dumb!   Or unimportant...  I mean, there's a lot of people who depend on secretaries.

::sigh::   ....I am saying many things today....  

ANYWAY, in each job I would reach a point where I'd think, "what exactly am I working towards?"   As a 20 year old who has no education beyond high school and is pretty naive on top of it, you don't really expect to move up any. You just move to another area with different things to learn. All that is to say, I had a lot of time during those few years of working to think over what I would want to be if I wasn't working in that particular job.

And then one day a wonderful thing happened.  Carey got a job at a consulting firm and was required to travel a lot. Yay for us because we love to travel.   So he started traveling for work and I quit so that I could be able to travel with him. And also because it had always been my dream to just be a homemaker.  And I loved it.   Loved every single minute of not having to go to a job, frankly.    But even then, there were a lot of times that I would wonder "what am I supposed to be doing with my life?"  Everybody has a purpose, right?   Most people my age have some kind of career goals to start out with... right?   At least most of my friends did.   I could have gone to school for anything during those years. I thought about it a lot.    But I never did it because I still had no idea what I would be going for.    I know most people go and then figure out what they want to be but I just couldn't see going without knowing at least some kind of direction I was headed in.    So life was fun.  ...Not working is great fun.    But I always wondered what I was SUPPOSED to be doing.

Then came Piper.  And now I know what I'm supposed to be doing.   And it feels good.


I don't wanna grow up, I'm a toys-r-us kid.  There's a million toys at toys-r-us that I can play with.  From bikes to trains to video games at the biggest toy store there is.   I don't want to grow up cause if I did, I wouldn't be a toys-r-us kid.

That song came to mind as I was writing.   Thought I'd share.

My fellas

Piper just had a heart to heart with the fellas for the first time. 

Buddy sat majestically... like a lion... taking in the honor that is being spoken to by madame.   

Ferb sat licking himself in innapropriate places.



My heart is full.

Be still, dangit.

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is holy
Be still, O restless soul of mine
Bow before the Prince of peace
Let the noise and clamor cease

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is faithful
Consider all that He has done
Stand in awe and be amazed
And know that He will never change
Be still

Be still, and know that He is God
Be still, and know that He is God
Be still, and know that He is God

Be still; Be speechless

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know He is our Father
Come rest your head upon His breast
Listen to the rhythm of His unfailing heart of love
Beating for His little ones
Calling each of us to come
Be still, Be still

Oh mama.

Mama gave me all my baby book stuff a while back.  After looking at it, I put it up in the attic to keep it safe from my destructive tendencies.   Recently though, we've been wanting to look at it to see when I hit different milestones.   So I crawled up in the stupid, spider's-hang-in-mid-air attic and found it.

I was looking through the first year calendar mama kept.  It makes me realize how badly I'm doing at that part of motherhood.   I'm keeping this blog and I'm writing down when she does stuff like laugh or roll over (which she sorta did on Monday, P.S.) but mama took it to a whole other level.   She wrote down things like when I got an ear infection and what kind of medicine they gave me... when I first pitched a fit when Lindsay took a toy from me(she's always been out to get me)... what the wind chill was at the Christmas parade that year...   etc.

Wanna know what my first word was?

Cookie.

Shoulda known.

Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb

You know that feeling where you realize you've made a horrible mistake?  And then after a few minutes, after it's had time to really sink in, you realize what a colossal idiot you are?   And then you realize that you can't undo it? 

I hate that feeling.

Especially when there's money involved.

Proof life isn't fair

1.   A single glazed donut = 7 points

2.  Chili's chicken bacon ranch quesadilla = 42 points

3. 12 oz cup of sweet tea = 4 points

4.  2 tbsp of ranch dressing = 4 points

5.  Their idea of a treat for Halloween = 2 assorted pieces of any type chocolate candy and 1 oz of candy corn.

6.  Now that I know these things, I'll never be able to enjoy eating the same again.

If you've never had to pay attention to these kinds of things...  Enjoy it. Ignorance is bliss. 

Also I dislike you.

Ramblings about the good ole days. You know... Like 3 months ago.

I was reading another blog and it made me think about the hospital stay and those first few weeks after Piper was born.  I had a c-section and I was completely terrified of the whole thing.  I told Dr. Helmken I wasn't concerned for our safety - I trusted she knew what she was doing.  No, it was the idea of being awake while they are cutting you open and moving things around inside of you.   Turns out, at least for this particular c-section, it was no big deal.  In fact, it was downright relaxing if you wanna know the truth.   The whole experience is one of THE favorite memories of my life.  One of the few bad memories of the experience came from having to be on a magnesium drip for my blood pressure.  It made me feel flu-ish and extremely loopy.  So much so that we had to have Piper taken to the nursery the first night.  I hate that memory.   It makes me want to go wake her up and kiss her.  

But then the second day came and they were able to take me off that medicine and my head cleared.  Everybody went home and left me and Carey to take care of this sweet, round headed, laid back little baby and I panicked.   I still feel it when I think about it.  I could not believe that I was the one who was left to make sure she was taken care of.    What I remember the clearest from that night was that I actually decided that I just wouldn't sleep that night.  I was too afraid that she'd spit up and choke and die.  She cried and gagged and projectile spit up a couple times and all I could do was stand and cry when she did it because it made me feel like my fears were not ridiculous.  Carey would wake up and have to calm me down before I could even think to put her down and clean myself up.   I would hate to be able to see myself through Carey's memories of me.   I did finally sleep about an hour around 5am but was quickly woken up by the nurse coming to check on us.   Stupid nurse.  Actually they were pretty awesome.  One of the best parts of the hospital stay.

Anyway, we got home and I was so glad to be at home where things were comfortable and quiet.   Carey is an expert at setting things up for someone who's just had surgery.  He had pillows propped in such a way that it didn't even hurt to get out of bed.  In fact, I don't remember much pain at all from the surgery.   Mama would come and sit up with Pipes for a couple hours so that we could go in our room, shut the door and sleep.  It's amazing how 2 hours of solid sleeping can suddenly feel like 12.   Eventually though, I had to start doing it without mama and Carey's constant help and supervision.   I would sit up at night feeding her and think over and over "Is this my life now?"    There would be times when she would just cry and would be inconsolable and even when we found out it was due in large part to the acid reflux, it didn't make things any easier in knowing how to help her.    I knew at the time and I sure know now that what I thought was a very fussy baby was actually just a normal baby.   The doctors kept telling me "Just wait til she hits 3 months. All this will pass".  So I'd tell myself over and over "just a few more weeks"...  It's a shame.   I wish I could slap my past self for even thinking that. 

 It's funny how something that feels so big and permanent can suddenly just stop and a new "big and permanent" takes over.   And then you don't even remember what it was like before.   You look at pictures and watch home videos and wish you had enjoyed the moment even more.

Boogers.

I don't know.  It was too serious. 

I tell no lies

So we have a routine established at our house.   We've never had a routine before.   Not even a tiny bit of one.   But now Piper's here and the almighty Mom's On Call told me I needed a routine and I obeyed.   Shocker but it's working.  It's working really well.    As in, the Pipes hardly fusses at all.  And she's super "independent".  Not sure if a baby is ever independent but what I mean is... she lays or sits wherever I put her and plays right by herself until nap time. That's like 1 1/2 to 2 hours of playing.   I'm not bragging...  Piper's just awesome is all.   Fact.          

Anyway, at the end of the day some days, I'm almost sad when 7 rolls around and she's wanting to go to bed because I feel like we haven't played with her all day.   So Carey and I have started laying down on the floor to play and talk with her before bed.   She talks back to us....   And makes little Carey facial expressions like "Mama guess what.   Guess what daddy just said to me"  My heart then explodes within me and I have to try not to cry for how much I love her.  It feels almost like a kind of grief. Then I get over my drama and play with her some more.   It's a tiring process for me.

What was I saying?

Oh yeah.

So Carey especially likes to lay and talk to her.   The most common game he plays with her is to say "Piper can you say Hi"   and ya'll.... I PROMISE, cross my heart and hope to die, the girl says hi back.    It happens so fast and she immediately starts telling him a long story after wards so I can never get it on camera as proof but today we were at mama's house and she did it with mama sitting right there.   It was a Christmas miracle.

I don't want to hear that her saying hi is like telling her to say coo. No sir.  I still think she's a genius.   I know every mother thinks that but they're obviously biased and would of course think that.   I'm not.  She's a genius.

Plain. And. Simple.

(Pride goeth, Lord.  I know this.  I'm only half serious.)

(Ok, that's a lie.  Sorry.  I'll work on it.)

DO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN

A couple of mornings ago I went into the kitchen to get Piper's bottle and out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw a piece of food by the sink.   It wasn't food.   It was a roach.   I then proceeded to yell for Carey at the top of my lungs to come quickly... which he did.... but it was 7am and he had been woken up by this panicked yelling so he wasn't happy with me when he found out it was because of a roach.   He sprayed it with roach killer, it ran into the garbage disposal and promptly died the horrific death of being chopped to pieces.  Don't get me wrong, I hate roaches but that's not a death I would have wished on him.    I felt a little better about it though after I spent an hour and a half bleaching every square inch of that counter and sink, along with all the bottles that had been sitting right next to where it was sprayed. 

Now every time I stand at the sink I imagine this mutilated roach flying out to seek his revenge on me.   Or worse, his friends laying eggs inside our ears like that one episode of ER.

Then later that day I was, once again, feeding Piper and spotted a flea on my arm.    We've had these dogs for 3 years and never once had any problems and now that there's a baby in the house they bring them in?

COME ON!

So now I get to call the exterminator, vacuum like crazy, have him do his treatment that will have all of us (including the dogs) kicked out of the house for at least 4 hours and all because of the threat brought on by one.  stupid.  flea.   Actually two, but still.

In the meantime, I'm convinced I feel them jumping around on my legs and on my head. 

I don't hate many things.   I loathe bugs.   It's why I don't like being outside after dark, why I've never wanted to go camping, why I will never live alone because then who'd be there to kill them for me?   

This is my nightmare.

I do not love this Lucy

Does this frighten anyone else?

I really should do this more often.

I'm going through my closet today and goodwilling a bunch of my clothes.  There are a couple of questions I'm asking myself as I sort.  1. Have I worn this in the last year or rather had I worn this in the last year before I got pregnant.  2. Does it fit?      The second question is pretty much a no for all of my clothes, unfortunately.   So then I have to sort them into two piles.  The "it doesn't fit but it could if I lost some weight" and the "this will never, ever fit me again because I'm not in highschool anymore."   Sadly, I only go through my closet every ten years or so.  

It's a very satisfying feeling getting rid of so much stuff.  

The best part is looking at all the tags on these clothes.   You can tell I buy cheap clothes.  I'm finding Walmart brands like Miley Sirus (that is actually a bit embarrassing) and JCPenny's "Feminosity".  Ok, I made that one up but I'm pretty sure I've seen something like it before.  

My favorite is a suit from the brand "Le Suit".      For those of you who don't know that's French for The Suit.

Classy.

I'm not a cannibal

Piper laughed today for the first time. Carey was laughing and she laughed back at him.    It was the cutest thing I've ever seen.    I promptly ate her.   I couldn't help myself.

Now she's laying on her mat sucking her thumb and rubbing the back of her head with her other hand.  

Wait.   Why am I on here rather than sitting and staring in amazement at her?

Peace out, home fries.

I don't know why I said that.

My favorite

You know the box of pumpkins with Charlie Brown on the side that they've started putting out at Walmart?  

This is my happy place.   

If I ever have a blank look on my face it's because I've gone there in my mind.

Well, that and Disney World.


Just thought you should know.

Fine. You win.

I am not a competitive person.   I've decided that's why I don't like playing games.  (To Carey's great disappointment.)   And it's not just that I'm not competitive against other people.. I'm not even competitive against myself.   I see competitiveness in someone and think "No that's ok.   You win."   I see it as a complete waste of energy.  Not that I'm right. I'm just being honest here.

So here's the problem.  I need to lose weight. You see, I just had a baby and I also just happen to love donuts.   And for the first time in my life I wish I was competitive.  I hear people talking about losing weight by making it a competition either with their own self or with their spouse or a friend.   The only time that I ever lost a noticeable amount of weight was back in high school. I signed up for a gym class that I thought would be a free be?.....  freeby?....  free b?....  an easy A and would you believe the teacher actually expected me to do something?!  Honestly, I was shocked. The point is, the only time I've ever lost weight is when I was forced to participate in physical activity.  I try to do it on my own and I give up after a few months of half hearted attempts with no noticeable difference.   I went to a personal trainer.  No results and a lot of wasted money.   ...Ok maybe minimal results.     I even tried to exercise with Lindsay a while back.   We walked and then wound up at my house eating homemade chocolate chip cookie dough.

I think I have issues with sugar.   And laziness.

So now I'm thinking of trying weight watchers.  Carey might even go with me.  Maybe if we're both doing this thing I'll actually stick to it.   Maybe I'll even find a little bit of competitiveness way deep, deep down inside me.  Maybe I'll wake up one day and completely hate the sight of cookies.

I'm not gonna hold my breath.   Let's be real here.

P.S.  It's freebie.   I googled it.

Desperation is the mother of invention

I love running errands. I love going out for lunch.  I love shopping.  After I had Piper I had several flip out moments where Piper would start screaming bloody murder while we were out...  out as in 30 minutes from home.   And I'd have to make several stops along the way so that I could get in the back, take her out of her seat and try to get her to quiet down.   I know this is just something most new mothers go through.  Which is why I guess people stop going out after they've had a baby.  But see, I'm selfish enough to think this is absolutely unacceptable.  I wanna still be able to go to Homegoods, dangit.  There's no telling what kind of deals I'm missing out on.  

So long story short, I've discovered that if I throw a blanket or pull the car seat and stroller cover together, she will sleep.   And I mean sleep like hours.   But a blanket falls and you don't always have the stroller with you.   So I found this product called the snooze shade.  It's basically a cover for the car seat and stroller that you velcro in place and it's black so it throws them into darkness.   I paid something like $30 for it.  

Guess what I figured out today?   A changing table cover does the same thing and it costs considerably less.   And it works on both the stroller and the car seat.

I ordered the snooze shade from amazon so there's no refunds.  

Stupid snooze shade.

P.S. - I'm not gonna say I'm a genius for thinking of the changing table cover.   I'm too humble.  

Not yo average teenager

We have a couple of family members and friends who homeschool.  I like to talk to them about it whenever I can because I keep thinking that I'd like to try it with the Pipes and our future son - Herman McManus Casey.   Most people worry about homeschooling because of the "lack of social interaction".   They seem to be concerned about their children being different.

...Can I just ask - has anybody been around the average pre-teen and teenager?   Why in the world would you NOT want your kid to be different?    It's like from the movie Spanglish.   The girl is talking to Adam Sandler about sending her daughter to this prep school.  She says that if she sends her, one of two things will happen.  She will either make herself to be like them or she will be odd.   And then Adam Sandler says something like "You gotta be rooting for odd, right?"   As Kaylyn would say...  you cut to the core of me Baxter.   Seriously, I would so rather she be odd than like the average kid.  But maybe that's just me.

And for that matter, I went to school and I'll be darned if I wasn't one of the weirdest, oddest kids there. 

The memories.  Oh the awkward memories.

A conversation between idiots

A couple of days ago I was showing Lindsay the brilliant idea that is Pinterest and we came across this picture.

When I saw it, I pointed it out and said "Aw, I wanna get married again just so this can happen".  Almost simultaneously we both said "but that'd mean we'd have to touch each other."    Evidence #1 of the dysfunction. 

It is not uncommon for Kaylyn to call us names like Captain Poophead and for us not to even notice it.   Evidence #2.  

 Occasionally, Lindsay and Kaylyn will let me mess around with their hair or make up.   The whole time I'm doing it, all I can think of is how bad their breath is, how annoyingly heavy they breathe and how uncomfortably close we are standing.   I let them know each time I have these thoughts.  Evidence #3.

If you ever read our posts to each other on facebook, you'll notice we call each other names like, dummy, retard, poo face, idiot.. a lot.  Even when we're talking about something serious, the name calling still happens.   Sometimes we mean it literally.  Like Lindsay is a poo face - plain and simple.    But other times there is more to it than that.   

I call Lindsay is retard.  Sometimes it means "hey friend, I'm glad you're my sister and I value your opinion."

Lindsay calls Gable a turd.  Sometimes it means "I wish I could spend more time with you, dearest brother"

Kaylyn calls me a dork.  Sometimes it means "That was funny and I wish I was as clever as you. You're my hero"   (It's true.  I just know it.)

So to Lindsay, Gable and Kaylyn -  ya'll are the biggest retards I know.  I'm so glad ya'll are my family of turd heads.   

Single tear.

I'm not crazy. You're crazy. I'm not crazy. You're crazy.

Speaking of fear...

I love sci-fi. Marrying Carey has made me love it even more.   We've just started watching Star Trek Enterprise on Netflix.  It's good.    The end.

Anyway, around this time last year we got obsessed with watching Dr. Who on Netflix.    There were some nights we'd watch from the time Carey got off work to 2 or 3 in the morning.  It's strange to think that I loved it so much at the time because most of the episodes are about really creepy, kinda scary stuff. I scare easily, have I mentioned? Anyway, there's this one episode of Dr. Who about these aliens that take the form of these Angel Statues. They call them the Weeping Angels.   Doesn't sound that creepy, right?  WRONG.    Here's the deal.   They first appear in the episode like these pretty angel statues you see but they have their hands covering their faces.   Come to find out they turn to stone when anybody is looking at them because you can't kill something that's stone.  And they cover their faces because they don't want to see each other and turn to stone looking at one another.   Anyway, when you're not looking they come alive and if they can get to you and touch you before you see them, you get sent to another place in time.   So they don't really kill you.  So that's not the creepy part.  

In this episode the main characters have something that they want really badly.    So they start "attacking" these people.    They're in a house and the people have to try to not even blink because blinking allows them to move one step closer to them.   In one scene the guy looks away for one second and the next he's looking back at the angel that is right in his face.  But this guy doesn't look like an angel anymore.  He's all angry and his teeth are showing and they're all pointy and stuff.   At one point these alien angels make the lights flicker and you see them getting a little closer and closer each time it's flickers.

IT'S FLIPPING SCARY, friends.

The thing that really gives me the willies about it is the idea that something is moving and watching you but when you turn to find it, it's not there.   And I'm already not a fan of the dark.

I'm a 26 year old, with a baby, who walks around at night scaring herself thinking about those stupid angels.

So, I turn on You've Got Mail and go to sleep with all the lights on.

Don't you judge me.  Don't you dare judge me.

Commenting

Tonight someone commented on this blog.

I liked it.


I liked it a lot.


It makes me feel like I'm not talking to myself.


Not that I'm uncomfortable with that.   It's kind of my thing.

When I am afraid...

I've always been an anxious and fearful person.   Let me just give you an example.   Back when Carey first started working at ITA he was working in Greenville, SC and traveling a lot.  As in every single week.    The first few weeks of him traveling to and from Greenville, I would call him a million times during that little 4 hour trip, just to make sure he was still ok and hadn't wrecked and died in a fiery car crash.  If, for some reason, he didn't answer his phone after two calls, I would start getting really angry.  By the fourth time, I would be livid and by the sixth call, I would be panicking.   Mind you, these calls were pretty much all back to back and it always ended up being that his phone had died and was having to charge or some kind of similarly logical reason.   I remember one time, he didn't answer after 2 hours of continuous calling.    Maybe you can image what kind of state I was in but if you can't, here's just a taste. At one point, I called the rental car company to ask if they had GPS tracking on the navigation system in his rental. 

Psycho.

Now that Piper is here I feel like if I were to let it, fear could completely overtake me. Not normal motherly fear but crazy, sinful fear. Like I see toys on the floor and envision me tripping, her flying out of my arms onto the hard tile and busting her head open.   She sleeps a little longer than is normal and I go running to make sure she's still breathing.   We take her in the ocean for the first time and she gets brain eating amoeba (THANK YOU Nonnie).

It's not like I sit around biting my nails and dwelling on all these morbid thoughts.  It's just that when any little thing happens, I immediately jump to thinking of the worst, most horrific thing that could possibly happen.  

Anyway, I was flipping through the radio stations the other day and came across a corney, Christian radio skit.  It was about fear, and I think meant for children, but I stopped to listen to it.    They kept mentioning the verse "When I am afraid, I will trust in You".  So I decided this would be my new verse to cling to when I had these moments of craziness.   I tried it for a while, with it being a comfort and making me have the right perspective only about 50% of the time.  In frustration one day I asked the Lord why I couldn't seem to overcome this thing.  Why is it that when I try to remind myself that He is always in control, do I get even more fearful?  Scared of what he might allow to happen because it's what is best for us in the long run.   ...I don't want what's hard but also best, dangit...  I want what's best, sure. But I want what's best to be easy.  And after many times of asking these same questions I had a thought come to me.  When intelligent or insightful thoughts come to me I know it's got to be Him talking to me.   I mean, let's just be honest here.      Anyway, the thought was that you can know a distant relative... let's say a cousin.  And you can know where this cousin grew up, where they went to school, who they married.  But just because you know these things about the cousin doesn't mean that you have a relationship with them.  You run into them every few months in the mall and see them at Thanksgiving and Christmas but that's about it.  You wouldn't necessarily trust this cousin with your life or the life of the ones you love most.  You trust, yeah.. but only to a certain extent.   Being a Christian since I was a very little girl, I've gotten used to terms like "have a relationship with". You can hear something so much and so often that you start to forget what it actually means.  Having a relationship with somebody is having a relationship. Talking with them everyday, knowing what they did last night... knowing them more than just in passing.  For some reason, because He isn't a physical person that I can sit down with over a cup of coffee (or a donut.  Again, let's just be honest) I keep forgetting that I have to make time everyday to "have a relationship" with Him. To not let life keep me from knowing Him.

I guess it's no wonder I have trouble trusting Him.  I let Him become just a distant cousin.  ...I mean, not that knowing and trusting Him makes the painful and scary things less painful or scary, right?  But like I'll have to take little toddler Piper to get her immunizations and explain why they are important for her well being and the people around her, she can always know that I do it because I love her and want what's best for her.

And also that she'll have a huge, chocolate covered ice cream treat waiting for her at the end.

Things that break my heart

1.  Piper has acid reflux.  She doesn't really have many issues with it anymore because she's taking Zantac twice a day.  Today was one of those days that it was obviously bothering her, though.   She had just woken from a nap and was laying there, so happy, when all of a sudden she starts choking and gagging.   It was the longest one yet.  She couldn't catch her breath and it just kept choking her.  When it was over she let out a pitiful little cry and was sort of gasping for breath.    If I had been alone I would have buried my face in her neck and cried.

2. Tivoli was watching Tangled with us the other day.  She was really into it.   Half way through the movie she suddenly looks up at Mama and Lindsay and says "We could go home and get my Princess dress and come right back..?"   Somehow knowing and being able to follow the train of thought that led her to ask this question made me want to cry and hug her.   And she's not even mine.   I'm in trouble.

3. I have this routine of saying over and over to Piper, "Mama loves Piper.. and Daddy loves Piper... but most of all Jesus loves Piper."    For the first time I thought about exactly what I was saying.    I sat and cried like an idiot while she smiled and talked at me.   I feel like if she were able to form words she'd have been telling me to get a grip.

A day in the life of Pipes

**Just a warning. This post is more for my sake than anybody else's. (else's?  Is that not a word because spell check is showing it isn't. hm.)     In fact, it's gonna be downright boring to anybody but me.   But I wanted to use this blog to keep up with important stuff going on with Piper, so that's what this post is...   You've been warned.**

12 weeks old - a typical day:

6 am - Eat (goes right back to sleep immediately after).
8 - 9 - Eat. Up for the day. Plays for about an 1 - 2 hours.  SUPER happy and talks a lot during this time.  Wakes up smiling and laughing at me.
9:30 - 10:30 - Nap.  Mostly in her crib, swaddled with white noise machine going.
12 - Eat. Plays for 1 - 2 hours. 
1 - 2 - Nap off and on.  Normally out running errands so naps are not as consistent.
2:30 - 3:30 - Eat. Plays for 1 - 2 hours.
4 - 5 - Nap. (Mostly at home, in her crib.)
5 - 6 - Eat. Play and nap off and on until bath time.
7:30 - Bath time and Bed time routine starts.

I think she would go to bed earlier than 8pm but it's hard enough getting her to bed that early so she normally starts getting kind of fussy around 7.  I turn on some music and it plays in her room while I'm bathing, changing and feeding her.   Most nights she goes from being extremely fussy to very relaxed almost as soon as she hears that music.   She must know it means bed time is coming.    She loves taking a bath.  Doesn't really care or not care about having a paci at this point.  Will take one for a minute but it normally falls out and she isn't interested in it anymore.

Bed time routine is give her as much milk as she will drink, swaddle, pray, turn off all lights and turn on noise machine.  She isn't crying at all when we leave the room anymore and she sleeps until 6am (almost on the dot) without waking through the night.

Glory, Hallelujah and Amen. 

Inhibited

You know those people who stand on the side of the road holding signs and dancing?

I wonder how they get that job.   Does the company they work for make everyone do it at some point?   Is it assigned to just one person who really, really likes dancing?   Do they volunteer?

If I worked for one of those places, that would be a deal breaker for me.   And I would not be a good sport about it.  

I passed a guy today who was just rockin' out to whatever he was listening to. Honestly... He didn't care who was watching or how stupid he looked.   And even though he did look absolutely ridiculous, I was jealous. 

I wanna bust a sweet, sweet move on the side of the road and not care.  

Oh and you bet your sweet bippy I have some sweet moves.  Yes indeed.

Misunderstood.

-Back in high school I worked for Sylvan Learning Center.  One day the secretary asked me to run some mail around to the mail boxes outside.  I got out there, looked at the 3 or 4 boxes lined up and had no idea which one was the one I was supposed to put it in.   I then walked back inside and asked "is the US postal service one the blue one?".     She laughed at me and said "Bevin we need to get you out more"


-One time, I was cleaning my bathroom and had done a really bad job at cleaning the toilet bowl.   Mama came in telling me to clean it again and in my frustration I exclaimed "But I don't know how to clean a toilet!!".  Lindsay has never let me forget that day.

-Back when I was working at Candler, I was convinced that I had a hearing problem.   I thought I must have earwax clogging my ear or something, so I proceeded to go to an ENT to have my ears checked.   He looked down in them and said they were fine but that I did have a little bit of build up.  Yummy.  Anyway, after the cleaning he asked if I had any questions.  I said "Yeah, how can I keep my ears clean?"      He and the nurse just stared at me for a few seconds before telling me to use a washcloth or a q-tip to clean them at night. As I left the room I heard them laughing at me. 

Because I was too flustered each time to defend my questions, I would like to say, for the record:
--I seriously did not know that the blue box was the USPS one even though it very clearly marked "US postal service" on the side. However, I was 16 and it was the first time I had ever had to do that so show some compassion, Pamela. Gosh.
--I did and do, in fact, know how to scrub a toilet. I was just trying to find a way out of having to do it again, LIN-SAY.
--I wasn't asking how to clean out the part of your ear that you can reach, dummy, I was asking how you keep your ear canal clean cause the q-tip box clearly states you should not stick ANYTHING down in your ear canal.

See. There IS logic behind all my stupidity.

It's been almost a year

So last year was the first year I have ever participated in any kind of Halloween festivities. Which meant I had the fun of trying to figure out what I wanted to dress up as.   Know what I came up with?   80's girl.   Come to find out, the 80's thing is a pretty blah thing to go as.  Like I read on a website that it's one of those things you go as when it's a last minute thing you just throw together.   And  to think -- I was so excited and thought I was being so unique.   Pathetic.
So anyway, October of last year was when I suspected that I was pregnant but wouldn't know until right before Halloween.  As in, I got the positive pregnancy test and then we told everybody the next day at the party. I'm not good at secrets.  But because I suspected that I was pregnant I told Carey that I should find a costume that was an oven with a bun in it. Eh...?  Eh....?  And then when everybody got to our house for the party I'd come out with that costume on and see how long it took for them to notice.     Now tell me that that wouldn't have been awesome, dangit.

Of one thing I am fairly certain.   Gable would have stood in the kitchen oblivious until someone pointed it out to him.

Uncomfortable

Everybody blogs, right?   It's no big deal.  It seems like a fun way to get things out of your system that might not otherwise be shared.   But for some reason it feels awkward that I want to blog. And also that you now know it.   Like, how arrogant and embarrassing for me to think that anybody would care about what I'd have to write.   But the thing is... facebook only allows 500 characters. It's a bummer.  I get tired of having to figure out a way to rearrange things so that I get under that number.  And I like to ramble.    So this is how I decided to just do it.  
I'm glad I shared this moment with you.

So, it'll probably be mostly me rambling about Piper.  I'm getting pretty obsessed with her.  And it's September, which means the holidays are here.  So, I'll probably write about that, too.   Then there's my favorite. Potty humor.  

So basically anyone reading it will afterwards be dumber for doing so.    
I'm sorry.